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Kemiskinan bukan berarti kebodohan. Sumber kebodohan adalah kebiasa-biasaan yang lahir dari ketiadaan dorongan diri untuk jadi lebih.

Excuse me for, first, assuming unfairly that public relations is a sketchy field; second, for seeing its practitioners as snake oil salespeople; third, for naively thinking my connection to others needs no science—but who has not? Throughout its history, public relations has had its storied ups and downs. President Nixon's terrible Watergate scandal, after all, fielded an army of propagandists up in arms to defend him. Yet, it was Ivy Lee's successful counsel to the wealthy Rockefeller that changed my perspective. Through his guidance, the business baron became sincerely agreeable to his workers and, eventually, to the public's eyes. What differentiates the two outcomes, it turns out, revolves around honesty and candor, not publicity stunts, press agentry, or extensive advertising. I now fully realize that in a world where human interaction has become freer (read: intricate), the study of public relations cannot be an afterthought.

For example, have you ever heard of Palworld? Well, hardly anyone does until it charts itself as the No. 1 game on Stream, transitioning itself from obscurity. Its astronomical rise demonstrates that mass behavior can be engineered.

Palworld's success must be shrewdly calculated. The same thing happened a long time ago when Edward Bernays ingeniously planted the "torches of freedom" image in cigarettes, igniting women to defy social norms just so they could smoke publicly. Bernays, drawing insights from his uncle Sigmund Freud, introduced consent engineering as a means to guide and control the masses through comprehension of their patterns. Indeed, gamers do exhibit some patterns, too. Nintendo gamers appreciate fun gameplay, whereas PlayStation gamers favor narrative-driven games. So, what do Steam gamers like? One may think "everything," but that's not true. Statistics reveal Steam players gravitate toward combat, survival, or craft-building games.

That's just the beginning. Think about how we've lived in a world characterized by wars, layoffs, and lockdowns. For that, players can take refuge in Palworld, which offers a vibrant world of whimsical creatures. Here, they can engage monsters, nurture lives, and build civilizations, essentially combining Steam's top-ranking gameplays into one. Learning that 96% of millennials recognize Pikachu more than President Biden and that The Pokémon Company has been slow to innovate, Palworld features Pokémon-esque aesthetics that further kindle one's subconscious desire to play it. Indeed, upon playing the game, gamers have voiced their longing to play Pokémon à la Palworld.

Figure 1. Palworld's ads resonate with gamers' subconscious longings.

Palworld gamers may believe it's their free will that leads them to play it, while not knowing that the engineering of such consent is a studied field. Palworld's ascent is another example highlighting the importance of mastering strategic communication.

Anak yang harus mengikuti jaman, bukan jaman yang mengikuti anak.

Opo ae seh seng sakjane kudu dipelajari ben sukses dan sogeh? Nek jarene Bill Gates, pendiri e Microsoft, dropoutan Harvard, kene iku kudu melajari sains, engineering, dan ekonomi. Jarene, iku iku agen perubahan. Makane aku semester depan iki pengen ngambil ekonometrika. Sebenere aku gak tertarik ekonomi seh, tapi iku salah satu tawaran pelajaran ndek Harvard gae semester ngarep, dadi yo, jopok ae lah. Melajari ilmu baru! Seru! Cukup senada, Mary Barra, CEO dan board e General Motors, yo ngomong nek kene kudu ngejar matematika dan sains, lalu kerja keras. Nek jarene Jack Welch, lulusan UIUC, kampus e mentri keuangan terkeren Indonesia, Sri Mulyani: belajar, belajar, belajar terus lakukan luebih timbang deng dilakukan wong lio. Tentu maksud e lue apik. Mosok lue elek. "Lakukan apa yang kamu bisa sebaik-baiknya, apapun itu" nek jarene ibu Corcoran, pengusaha real estate lulusan S1 pendidikan e Thomas Aquinas College.

Tapi belajar nandi yo? Seng pernah njabat sebagai CEO e eBay dan sebagai eksekutif banyak perusahaan ternama koyok Walt Disney, Meg Whitman, ngroso sinau ndek tempat seng apik iku puwenting. De e malah nyaranno kene melbu ke sekolah-sekolah terbaik seng iso dileboni. Masalah mbayar e yo opo, iku iso dipikiri ngkok. Jarene. Saking nganggep penting e ilmu dan belajar. Tentu, kene mek iso melbu nak sekolah paling apik nek wes, iku mau, belajar, belajar, belajar. Dan iya, emang nyata e kemungkinan besar kene sukses itu ya salah satu ne nek iso melbu sekolah apik dan ternama. Dadi jelas: belajar seng sregep nak sekolahan seng apik iku salah satu kunci penting sukses! Cita-cita yang tinggi dan ga gampang. Tapi yo ancen cita-cita iku kudu tinggi. Ojok setengah-setengah. Jare Jennifer Hyman, CEO e Rent the Runway: agresif lah dengan mimpimu. 

Kunci sukses penting lainnya, dan wes terlalu sering didengung-dengungkan: "jangan takut gagal," begitu kata miliarder Ray Dalio, CIO perusahaan hedge fund terbesar dunia, lulusan MBA Harvard. De e yo mastikno nek kene gak perlu ndengerin jarene wong mek ben kene "disetujui." Emang seh, orang sukses iku yo atine kudu wes mantep, ga gampang diubah-ubah wong. Gak perlu ngerungokno cemoohan "kon lho pasti ga iso" dan sejenisnya. Gak perlu nerimo poksoane wong-wong. Percoyo karo awak dewe, ngunu lah istilahe. Kecuali jelas-jelas onok ruang seng perlu dipelajari. Soale ga kabeh wong iso mahami pikiran dan arah e kene dewe. Akhire, kene seng diarah-arahno.

Rasane seng pasti, wong sukses yo kudu ndue perspektif seng luas, seng jembar, seng ga lapuk dimakan usia. Yo iku yo jarene Alex Gorsky, CEO Johnson & Johnson, lulusan University of Pennsylvania. Nek jarene mantan Perdana Mentri Australia Malcolm Turnbull, lulusan S1 e Oxford, kene iku kudu selalu bertanya, ojok sampe ndue pemikiran seng kudet.

Bulan lalu, kami mengajukan pembuatan visa di konjen Surabaya agar dapat menghadiri acara convocation mahasiswa baru di Harvard. Aplikasi visa Amerika itu proses aplikasi visa paling superior yang pernah aku lakukan. Ga ribet. Ga perlu booking hotel atau pesawat dulu. Dan gak lama jadinya.

Proses awal

Prosesnya sesederhana ini:

1. Siapkan foto 5x5 cm background warna putih, ekspresi natural, jangan pakai kacamata, jilbab gapapa tapi cadar tidak diperbolehkan
2. Buat formulir DS-160 (pastikan pilih konjen Surabaya) untuk masing-masing traveler, upload foto di sistem tersebut dan kalo nggak berhasil, ambil foto baru lagi
3. Unduh dan kumpulkan semua formulir DS-160 para traveler
4. Buat aplikasi pengajuan visa di portal US Travel Docs
5. Tambahkan semua traveler yang sudah dibuat DS-160-nya dengan menginput kode yang tertera di formulir DS-160 di sistem portal US Travel Docs, beserta data-data lainnya yang diperlukan
6. Dapatkan kode resi pembayaran
7. Datang cabang CIMB Niaga terdekat untuk membayar aplikasi pengajuan visa, sekitar kurang lebih 2.6 juta rupiah untuk masing-masing traveler
8. Setelah membayar, tunggu hingga keesokan hari kerja, jam 3 atau 4 sore WIB
9. Masuk ke portal US Travel Docs, dan masukkan kode resi
10. Selesai! Cetak dokumen janji-temu (appointment form) dan DS-160 para traveler

Nah, di form appointment sebenernya ada keterangan dokumen-dokumen apa yang perlu dibawa. Biasanya, foto tidak diminta. Tapi cetak aja fotonya yang ukuran 5x5 yang sama persis digunakan untuk pembuatan DS-160, karena toh aku dimintain fotonya.

Bawa juga dokumen-dokumen lain, semisal point of contact information. Karena aku ke US karena acara convocation di Harvard, aku mintain lah invitation letter. Invitation letter-ku kurang lebih seperti ini isinya:

Dokumen-dokumen seperti itu akan memperkuat diloloskannya aplikasi visa kita. Denger-denger nih, status visa itu pada dasarnya ditolak. Kita yang harus meyakinkan mereka kenapa visa kita sebaiknya tidak ditolak.

Wawancara

Pada dasarnya, prosesnya seperti ini:

1. Pastikan membawa seluruh dokumen utama yang diminta
2. Bawa dokumen-dokumen pendukung lainnya yang sekiranya diperukan
3. Bawa foto 5x5cm juga
4. Pastikan berada di konjen/kedubes kurang lebih 40-menit sebelum wawancara, sehingga bisa ada waktu cukup misal disuruh ini itu (aku disuruh nitipin tas ke Indomaret sebelah, soalnya ga boleh bawa tas ke dalam)
5. Ambil antrian, lalui proses scan tubuh, dapat nomor antrian, mengantri, wawancara deh (kurang lebih 10-25 menit)!

Sebenarnya ada 2 wawancara. Wawancara pertama dengan staf orang Indonesia. Aku ditanyain kenapa ke US, aku bilanglah ke Harvard, dan aku kasih lihat kertasnya. Uniknya, aku kan travel ke US bareng pasangan, aku di wawancaranya lebih lama, pasanganku yang lebih cepet. Ya, tapi emang datanya dia dependent on my data juga sih.

Wawancara ke-dua sama staf kedubes yang seperti warga Amerika. Kurang lebih wawancaranya seperti ini:

Dia: Hello, how are you?
Aku: Hello, can't complain
Dia: Since when did you study?
Aku: Spring 2022, actually I bring my transcript with me
Dia: Oh very well done, straight As
Aku: Hehe, thank you (well, it's not 4.0)
Dia: Congratulations your visa is approved
Aku: Thank you

Udah, seluruh prosesnya mungkin makan waktu sejam setengah. Tapi bukan berarti kita pulang ngantongin pasport. Soalnya pasportnya kan belum distiker visa. Nunggu 3-4 hari. Tapi yang jelas, kalau pengajuan visa kita diterima, kita akan mendapatkan secarik kertas yang bertuliskan "Selamat! Permohonan visa non imigran anda telah disetujui"

Aku sih nyesel ya kenapa opsi pengambilan paspor di RPX, kenapa ga dikirim ke rumah aja. Jadinya perlu travel. Tapi ya gapapa, soalnya takut juga tar paspor rusak atau hilang atau gimana. Tapi kalau rumahmu jauh dari Surabaya, kayaknya makes sense untuk dianter aja. Soalnya, beneran RPX itu dependable banget. Nothing to worry harusnya.

Yah begitulah.

Terbang ke New York, lanjut ke Boston!

Jadi, aku makai pesawat United Airlines, terbang dari Singapura. Dari Singapura, kita turun ke San Francisco, untuk transit sebentar 2 jam. Harus tergesa-gesa, karena waktunya sangat tipis. Pastikan jangan ada botol yang berisi air, atau apapun yang dilarang. Terutama air, soalnya ternyata, kalau ketahuan, kita disuruh mbuang airnya di luar, dan antri lagi, tidak seperti di Indonesia atau Singapura yang airnya bisa dibuang saat di tempat inspeksi ya. Jadi ini sangat mengulur waktu, kalau kedapatan ada botol yang berisi air.

Setelah itu, perjalanan dari San Francisco menuju New York memakan waktu sekitar 6 jam. Tidak seperti perjalanan internasional, meski menggunakan maskapai yang sama, kita tidak menerima konsumsi di perjalanan domestik ini--cuma air atau jus saja.

Sesampainya di New York (lebih tepatnya Newark), kita harus jeli melihat bis yang kemudian bisa kita gunakan untuk menuju kota New York. Dari New York, kita bisa menuju Boston menggunakan bis ataupun kereta, yang ngetem di Port Authority.

Yang jelas, kayaknya lebih enakan terbang langsung ke Logan Airport di Boston, daripada mondar-mandir dari New York. Tapi ya, ini pengalaman juga sih.

I have a humble beginning. Dad was an underpaid university lecturer, and mom was teaching at a high school I attended. True, my grandpa is relatively affluent, but that's it. I grew up in a very modest house, eating quite decent food. By decent, I don't mean red meat. Eating ice cream is a luxurious experience. I constantly dreamed of eating Kentucky fried chicken. Even our rice is of lower quality. You get the idea! We "buffet" on eggs, tofu, and tempeh almost daily.

Pampered with quality education

My mom once told me when I was still a high school boy that she'd rather leave me with books than cash or estates. That remark simply sticks to my core. My parents care about my education beyond their means, at least up to high school. I got a private math tutor as a first-grader. And not just any math tutor! I was educated at a place where affluent, "pampered" Chinese kids would go. The price for such tutoring, I believe, would be skyrocketing, perhaps much more expensive than my normal school's total expenses.

In 1999 Indonesia, although most people (like my family) were so poor, the Chinese were generally richer (not always, but almost always). There are many reasons why that could happen, from Chinese people's drive to excellence up to the fact that "native" Indonesians during colonial times were treated like third-class citizens in their own land for generations, resulting in them having inter-generational economic problems. Anyway, things have changed. But there's that for context. Yet, my parents, with all their limitations, managed to send me to study math in such a luxurious place that I am not less privileged.

But that's not the only instance. I got a private English tutor too. She'd come to my house and we'd start reading a highly technical book together. On the same line, I was given the chance to enroll at IALF, a fancy English school where classes were taught by native speakers from Anglophone countries from Australia to the U.S. (alphabetically), if I may categorize those countries as such. And the price for such a school? Again, probably equivalent to all the money paid for my public education up to that point. One that would be most recognizable in shaping me as who I am is when I was given a computer tutelage at age 8. By age 11, the Indonesian Museum of Records noted me as the country's youngest programmer.

I have seen more fortunate parents around me when I grew up. Yet not many of my friends experienced things I was "privileged" with. And we were poor.

That's about me, but how about my children's education?

Benjamin Franklin once said something to disagree I cannot: an investment in knowledge pays the best interest. My Harvard education is, by extension, no pun intended, the cumulative result of the privileges I have enjoyed and the effort I put in. As a Harvard man, I think it is "normal" to want your children to be Harvardians. I believe a Harvard education is thoroughly life-changing, and I hope my kids experience such a sort of education. Hence, my life is primarily dedicated to ensuring that as many of my kids go on to Harvard.

That being said, I don't like a dictatorial style of parenting where I have absolute say over everything. I would like to give my children all control over their own lives when they turn 7, and that includes choosing their own schools and what they want to be. Simply put, I just don't accept three things: (1) being dumb, (2) being murderous, and (3) being on illegal drugs. Doing any of those three can result in the absolute termination of parenthood; it is as if we'd never known each other. To the extent that, let's say, my children were to bring drugs into Singapore, knowing such is a criminal offense punishable by death, I'd be the first to call the Singaporean police. I believe that those traits of being dumb, murderous, and drug-addicted simply don't belong in a house of educated people. And I don't want other people to be affected by my children. To me, no home is required for those who want to live the way of the streets, and saying good-bye after all would be the best way for us adults to move on. Live and let live.

So it is clear: after my children turn 7, I'll treat them as adults. I want them to go to Harvard for what I believe is their own good, but I completely won't force them.

I wish to donate things to Harvardians

Harvard has changed me for the better, and it is natural for me to want to give back. In fact, I want to give back nearly everything I have so that there'll be future generations of Harvardians working hard for the betterment of the world in which we live. Whether that's finding the cure to cancer, a more equitable law for all, or solving the climate change crisis, I wish my donation would play a part in those big works, albeit small.

The thing is, the moment my children turn 7, not only do I treat them as adults, but I also regard them as young Harvard men or women. I would "donate" my money to them. They'd have monthly stipends; the amount should be large enough that it can cover their educational needs, such as paying for their own school. So yes, they'd decide on their own which junior or higher school to attend. What if the money isn't enough, though? Well, they need to work hard to figure out how. Being a Harvardian, or a problem solver for that matter, doesn't mean that everything is provided on the table. For instance, they can join extra, and if they win a championship, I'd generously gift them. Or yeah, doing anything like working at a McDonald's, interning at a local software engineering shop, or being a golf caddy, and so on and so forth. And thus, my children would be the earliest Harvardians I donated my money to, with the big hope that they'd help solve pressing issues of the time.

In fact, my will favors those Harvard children. I will give back mine to none of my children, if none attended Harvard. In that case, all that I accumulated should belong to my school, or Harvard. But if there's any, even just one, of my children who went to Harvard, then most will be for them, with the remainder going to non-Harvardian children. The will should have a no-contest clause, which means challengers to the ruling will be excluded from being even considered as legal parties.

This post is thusly written way ahead to set up my expectations for my children since the get-go.